RISIKAT ADESAOGUN
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Listen, Risikat! You might learn something.

3/2/2018

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And I do listen. Specifically, to self-narrated memoirs. I jumped into the audiobook world when my work commute grew from a quick 25-minute ride to a nearly hour-long ordeal. Now, instead of grumbling about the glut of Minnesota drivers, the snow, ice, and general misery of commuting, I can laugh and learn my way down the highway. 

Here are some of my recent favorites:
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Around the Way Girl, by Taraji P. Henson

​"I can give you a London accent, I can give you Becky the Valley Girl all day long. I can pull it back and get corporate when I need to, too. But checks are usually attached to that. I have to get paid to be that person. That is not who I am." 

Taraji P. Henson's story begins with her being kidnapped. And that isn't even the craziest, scariest thing she's encountered. I found myself listening to this book in the car, in the grocery store, and even in the shower. I can't wait to see what Henson does next. 



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Year of Yes: How to dance it out, stand in the sun and be your own person, by Shonda Rhimes

“But I only ever write about one thing: being alone. The fear of being alone, the desire to not be alone, the attempts we make to find our person, to keep our person, to convince our person to not leave us alone, the joy of being with our person and thus no longer alone, the devastation of being left alone.” 

Some truths are too hard to bear. But Rhimes makes a case for trying again and saying "YES", even when it's scary.  

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How to Be Black, by Baratunde Thurston

“For example, when the two of you are in the coffee room, she might say to you, “Hey, we should just take all these white people’s shit and burn it.” But then she laughs, and you laugh, and another coworker enters the room, asking, “What’s so funny?” and without missing a beat you both say, “Tina Fey!” 

Black folks have been in the extreme minority at every place I've worked. The emotional labor involved in navigating racial landmines at every turn is both exhausting and infuriating. But there is always someone - a senior leader, a mail room clerk, a bookish scientist - who will make you feel properly human again. Thurston's book honors this fact: there's always someone there. 

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The Last Black Unicorn, by Tiffany Haddish

“So I ended up getting out of pimping, because I didn’t make much money. It’s just not a lucrative business, selling dick. Dick ain’t really all that hard to come by.”

Tiffany Haddish's voice is completely unique. And so is her story. I thought it'd be all laughs but Haddish's life has some truly dark elements. I say this without a touch of irony: I laughed. I cried.  

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The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl, by Issa Rae

“Question: “Is it real?” Thanks to the widespread popularity of hair extensions, this question is no longer asked solely within the black community. Some people are even desensitized to the question. For those who aren’t, the proper response is usually, “Is yours?” with a smile. If that person does not relent, you can try, “It’s as real as you are bold,” with a friendly chuckle. Passive aggression is absolutely appropriate in this instance."

I legitimately paused the audiobook and said, "Did this girl steal my personal journal? Do I need to get lawyers involved?" That's how universal the awkward Black girl experience is. And Issa Rae brings every cringeworthy element to life. 

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Why Not Me, by Mindy Kaling 

“Confidence is just entitlement. Entitlement has gotten a bad rap because it's used almost exclusively for the useless children of the rich... But entitlement in and of itself isn't so bad. Entitlement is simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you'd better make sure you deserve it.” 

Let's say you're in the middle of a Minnesota winter, with months of frigid gray days blending into one another and no chance of sunlight in sight. Just grab Kaling's memoir - you'll feel better in minutes. 
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Books for the culture.

2/18/2018

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You haven't seen Black Panther? Close your browser immediately! To the theater with you - quick quick, yeah?

Black Panther was everything. As I'm not a card-carrying comic book or superhero expert, I'll just say this: the story and representation of different African cultures was on point. Seeing these cultures combine and swirl around to create the fictional world of Wakanda? Your faves could never. The complex, layered approach to Blackness and African-ness will no doubt be dissected and analyzed in future university courses. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there are so many ways to be Black in this world. I hope to discover them all. 

And hey - there's no need to let the euphoria of Black Panther die. Keep the party going with some good reads:
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Forest Gate, by Peter Akinti 
At first glance, Forest Gate may look like a graphic, brutally violent series of terrible events. But it is so much more than that. This novel chronicles the experiences of Somali refugees living on the estates in London (read: the hood).

It is not belonging. It is mental illness. It is being "the other" among those already relegated to society's margins. And it is rebirth and redemption. 

"She took several steps, holding onto the edge of the table, and then turned and went back to her seat. Meina had always thought of addicts as the lowest form of humanity, but here was this woman, a mother, still trying to feed her boys. It was confusing. She has resisted the strong urge to get up and help her serve, worried that she would be overstepping some boundary. She forced herself to keep still and sighed when she realized she had been holding her breath. Did they expect her to eat the sludge that had been slopped into her bowl? She looked at James, his head down, staring at his own bowl. They all at the cold porridge. 

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White is for Witching, by Helen Oyeyemi
I picked up this novel solely because of the author's name. I expected another fish-out-of-water story about immigrants doing their best to fit in. To be sure, those stories play an important role in contemporary literature. But this novel broke from that tradition, hard. 

This neo-gothic story gave me the creeps in the best way. It is subtle, dark, refined. Like if Edgar Allen Poe hand-fed you chocolate. You'd be too terrified to say no. ​

"At home, she put the mannequin in the bath and washed it with a flannel, from face to torso to heels, until it was completely clean. The mannequin was taller than her, but as she pulled it out of the bath by its hands, she felts as if she was its mother."

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Them, by Nathan McCall
Say it with me: Gentrification. Or "yuppification", if you prefer. There are a million articles about why gentrification is so problematic. Bodegas, brownstones, and laundromats giving way to ritzy yoga studios and artisanal cheese shops, and longtime residents becoming outsiders in their own neighborhoods come to mind. 

Them brings all of this to a human place that is at once accessible and uncomfortable - and not for the readers you might think. 

"At that moment she felt in herself the potential to actually hate Barlowe, right along with the rest of them. It startled her to know she could feel that way. It crossed her mind, if only for a flash, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't deny that she had the potential to hate. These people were starting to wear on her. How could the reject her? Many times she'd defended them - their peculiar habits and behaviors - in dinner party debates, and now they were rejecting her. It seemed unfair. 

'You know what bothers me most?'
'No, Sandy. What bothers you most?'
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That was the first time she'd heard him call her name. In the time she had known him, he had avoided addressing her directly. She had wondered if he even remembered her name."



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What it Means When a Man Falls from the Sky, by Lesley Nneka Arimah
You start reading the short stories in this book and before you know it, you're having the crap beat out of your entire heart. 

It's a perfect mix of sci-fi, old-world reminiscence, and modern, sly wit. The stories are so short that you find yourself automatically slowing down, reluctant to finish.

"'You need something with strong limbs that can plow and haul and scrub. Soft children with hard lives go mad or die young. Bring me a child with edges and I will bless it and you can raise it however you like.' 

When Ogechi had instead brought her mother a paper child woven from the prettiest wrapping paper she'd been able to scavenge, her mother, laughing the whole time, had plunged it into the mop bucket until it softened and fell apart."


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Open City, by Teju Cole
This is not my favorite book. An angst-filled guy walking around the city, waxing endlessly about himself and the world is a little too "Catcher in the Rye", for me. But I gave it a chance and you should, too. 

The premise is a bit self-indulgent, but the novel still stands as fantastic - the people the Narrator meets are rich, each armed to the teeth with truth bombs. 

"It's a Christian idea, I said. He was a churchman, you see, his principles came from the Christian concept. That is it exactly, Farouq said. This is not an idea I can accept. There's always the expectation that the victimized Other is the one that covers the distance, that has the noble ideas; I disagree with this expectation. It's an expectation that works sometimes, I said, but only if your enemy is not a psychopath. You need an enemy with a capacity for shame. I wonder sometimes how far Gandhi would have gotten if the British had been more brutal. If they had been willing to kill masses of protesters. Dignified refusal can only take you so far. Ask the Congolese."


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What's in a word - or passage?

3/1/2017

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I considered incorporating book reviews into this blog, but between you, me, and my pug, it seemed like a bit of a yawn. Instead, I hope to share some of my favorite passages from time to time. They will be sourced from a mix of my most-read genres: fiction, contemporary poetry, memoirs, short stories, and works by social scientists. Here are 5 recent reads:
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Doomed, by Chuck Palahniuk
Doomed, by Chuck Palahniuk​
Chuck Palahniuk was one of my favorite authors in junior high - surely, a slightly inappropriate lit choice for thirteen-year-olds. Ironically, this book is narrated by a thirteen-year-old wandering around purgatory. Fitting, no?

"Yes, Gentle Tweeter, we may have polio vaccines and microwave popcorn, but secular humanism really only coves the good times. Nobody in a foxhole ever said a prayer to Ted Kennedy. Nobody on a deathbed clasps his hands in weeping despair and petitions for the aid of Hillary Clinton."



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You Can't Keep a Good Woman Down, by Alice Walker
You Can't Keep a Good Woman Down, by Alice Walker
My elementary school diary would make you weep. Growing up in Minnesota helped me access so many opportunities, but my sense of self didn't escape unscathed. Luckily, there's a cure for pervasive feelings of otherness: literature, travel, and a thriving internet community. Have you heard of Black Twitter? We get it in.

​"She looks in a mirror at her plump brown and black body, crinkly hair and black eyes and decides, foolishly, that she is not beautiful."
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Salt, by Nayyirah Waheed
Salt, by Nayyirah Waheed
Fun fact: I used to appear in a handful of local Black hair shows (Google it - it's a Thing). 

At 5'5", I'm no giant. But when a show's theme called for shorter models to appear alongside our Amazonian counterparts, I was there. 

Dressing in front of strangers, being pulled to and fro, the makeup, the lash glue, hair follicles being pulled toward the heavens, the earaches from wearing heavy, heavy fake gold -- it's an experience. 

The lights and applause were seductive. 

"beautiful
is the highest compliment
you 
can pay a woman.
i watch women
dive.
to the ground.
eat it.
stand up.
and 
smile." 
-shame



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Outliers, by Malcom Gladwell
Outliers: The story of success, by Malcom Gladwell
People say, "Don't hate the player, hate the game!" Plenty of us DO hate the game and are actively working to fix it. But the notion that the players - in this case, working-class and poor children, are effectively robbed of the opportunity to develop these 'entitlement' traits that help middle and upper-income kids flourish is maddening. 

 "She learns teamwork and how to cope in highly structured settings. She is taught how to interact comfortably with adults, and to speak up when she needs to. In Lareau’s words, the middle-class children learn a sense of "entitlement."

That word, of course, has negative connotations these days. But Lareau means it in the best sense of the term: "They acted as though they had a right to pursue their own individual preferences and to actively manage interactions in institutional settings. They appeared comfortable in those settings; they were open to sharing information and asking for attention It was common practice among middle-class children to shift interactions to suit their preferences." They knew the rules. "Even in fourth grade, middle-class children appeared to be acting on their own behalf to gain advantages. They made special requests of teachers and doctors to adjust procedures to accommodate their desires."

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Double Cup Love: On the Trail of Family, Food, and Broken Hearts in China, by Eddie Huang
Double Cup Love: On the trail of family, food and broken hearts in China, by Eddie Huang
If you haven't seen the ABC show, Fresh Off the Boat, get on it: it's a little campy, but who can think of a primetime television show centered on the adventures of an Asian family where the characters aren't walking punchlines? 

If you want to get to the source, read the memoir that sparked the show's creation. Being the child of an immigrant isn't always easy, but it's usually hilarious. 

"Humans should be reasonable if for no other reason than the fact that we can be reasonable. To lean on your status as a parent to justify your baseless, boneheaded opinions and actions is as archaic and ass-backward as breathing out of your mouth."
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    ​RISIKAT'S THOUGHTS

    Osseo, Minnesota.
    ​The year is 2005.

    ​My tenth grade English teacher is in front of the class, brandishing a cylinder of grits. She holds the container high above our heads. "This is a food commonly eaten by Southern BLACKS - I mean, African American people," she says, eyes wide with excitement. Like clockwork, every blonde, brunette, and red head turns in my direction to verify. "Is it true?"

    It's true.
    ​I freaking LOVE grits. 

    These are my thoughts. 

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